Fear

People are afraid of many things and sometimes these things are so hard to overcome that this fear becomes a phobia.

But I am not here to talk about phobias but I am here to talk about things that we are afraid of, that we are scared of. Before I discuss what my greatest fear is, let us define that word first.

Fear according to Psychology Today is the vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats.

Another description for fear which comes from dictionary.com states that fear is  a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Overcoming fear is the hardest thing a person can ever do as a human being. They need courage and sometimes the right motivation to do so.

Truthfully I am like every other person, I am scared of things in this earth. But I always remember this:

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So as I have mentioned before, I am like the rest of the human race. I am afraid of things, I fear things so badly that sometimes I am afraid of my own ghosts. Ghosts that I made simply because I overthink things.

What my biggest fear is this: I am afraid of failure.

I am afraid of failure

Failure to me means being a disappointment, not to other people but of my own self. I hold tightly to these things, I am frequently afraid of my own shadow, of my own imperfect past that I become afraid to try again and do things differently.

But I am overcoming this, maybe not by leaps and bounds, it may only be a single baby step but I do my best to leave this fear behind.

Let me tell you about a personal story of mine that happened months ago:

My Papa and I were biking in the little municipality that we were living in. We were around the school district and it was rush hour because students are coming in to school to get their education, so I was there biking when suddenly these two teenagers crossed the road, I avoided them and by doing so caused an accident of epic proportions, thankfully my father and I only got bumps and bruises and our bikes were only scratched.

So anyway, after that I was so shaken-up that I was afraid to bike anymore. So afraid to cause any accidents anymore that I even decided to stop biking.

So let’s just say I stopped for two weeks after that accident, I need to shake it off because my fear almost got me killed when I continued to stop at every dang corner of the road when I am facing vehicles, bigger than me, head on.

After two weeks of staying in and not taking my baby out for a ride, Papa sat me down and told me that I am just like one of those big vehicles in the street. That I, like the rest of those vehicles, have the right to be on that road. That the civilians who need to cross the road need to tell me before crossing it because I am a vehicle as well (even though I am just riding my bike). So a few days of rewiring my brain and thinking that, I overcome it.

So a few days of rewiring my brain and thinking that, I overcome it.

I overcome my fear of causing another vehicular accident, and now I continue on biking with Papa on the boondocs. I am not afraid of the sharp curves while coming down because I have the right of way.

I am not telling you that it would work always, because it really depends on the person if they really want to overcome such things.

Fear can take different forms, they can be people, circumstances or events that may occur everyday. It really depends on our own psychological wirings whether we really want to defeat it or not.

It really depends on our own psychological wirings whether we really want to defeat it or not.

So I decided to write these step-by-step self-help if you also want to overcome your fear like me:

Step back it means analyze. Ask yourself why? Why are you afraid? What makes you afraid? What can I do to make these go away?

Compromise it means find a solution for the things you are afraid of. If you are afraid of the dark, try leaving a light on, try leaving the flashlight of your phone on. (I do this when I accidentally watch a horror movie and I can’t sleep. I turn the flashlight on and it actually helps)

Asking for help asking for help or assistance doesn’t automatically make you a wuss or a pussy. Inform other people why you are afraid of these things, they might actually give you a better solution and share their fears at the same time.

Those steps mentioned above are only for those fears that you can automatically overcome. Like heights, water, darkness, etc. But if we are going to talk about fear of the supernatural or a person then that is another topic I can discuss if there is clamor for it.

But as I have mentioned above, what I am actually afraid of is failure. I am trying those steps and it actually helps me, as I have mentioned it may not be a 12 mile yard leap I don’t need that, it may be just one single tiny baby step and when years go by or even months pass you will see that you are not where you have been.

There will be days that you will feel that you are back on square one. But take that one single tiny baby step and you will be where you want to be, and you will not realize then that you have finally left that fear behind you.

Take that one single tiny baby step and you will be where you want to be

Love,

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